bonanza

serious

2010-04-06T17:29:00.001+01:00

Ebay Watch - ''gay, scally interest trainer socks v smelly''

2010-04-04T18:50:00.004+01:00

Winning bid:
EUR 9.25
Approximately £8.19

6 bids

Item condition:
Used

''SELLING ARE ANKLE HEIGHT TRAINER SOCKS ,VERY GRUBBY , SMELLY BEEN GOING THROUGH MY BITS AND BOBS AND COME ACROSS A FEW ITEMS ALL WHICH WILL COME WITH A PHOTO ,
ANY QUESTIONS OR REQUESTS FEEL FREE TO ASK 100% DISCRETION IS ASSURED SUPERFAST LOW COST POSTAGE , AND CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS PRIORITY TO ME CHECK OUT MY FEEDBACK''

He's sold three pairs

Burning Spear - Call on you / The Sun

2010-04-04T18:44:00.000+01:00

orgasm

2010-04-02T14:57:00.003+01:00

A day in the life of an aspiring transexual porn star...

2010-04-02T13:52:00.004+01:00

Alhena

''Once we had found a rhythm that I could let him sustain without hurting me, I whispered into his ear, "can you cum from this?" He responded, "I don't think so, it's not deep enough...wait, maybe". I said, "how deep do you need to go in order to cum?" His response was to thrust just ever so slightly more powerfully, an increase in speed, force, and depth of penetration. I started rubbing my perineum as if it were my clit, and it felt like I was having a prolonged, consistent orgasm. He hit it like that for a few more minutes while I layed their rocking my ass slightly in rhythm with his thrusts, using the point of contact between the back of my ankles and the muscles that wrap around his shoulder blades for leverage, letting the insides of my feet rest against the sides of his neck. He asked, "where do you want me to cum, inside you?" I managed to moan through an "mmhmm" before hearing him say "I need to go deep to cum". My response was to grab his muscular, cute hairy behind and pull him in down to the hilt. His reaction was a powerful first spurt of cum that felt like someone was injecting me with warm petroleum jelly with a turkey baster. I felt my seemingly always-in-control ex-spook of a boyfriend temporarily relinquish control over his body to the skin deep inside me as his convulsions made him fuck me with only the last quarter inch of his 8 and half inch cock, forcing aside whatever organs of mine had previously occupied the space where the head of his dick was now, filling me with his substance in the spinoza sense of the word.
It took between 30 and 45 seconds before the pulses stopped, and I told him "just let it fall out as it gets soft, don't pull out yet". When it finally slipped out, I spread my cheeks for the camera and tried to push it out to show my anal creampie, but I had not been fucked like that in years and was scared my insides were about to fall out, so I simply said into the viewfinder "No cumshot this time guys, he came inside me", flashed a smile and blew a kiss, and hit the button to stop recording. I was loopy. I layed on my bed in the fetal position and bit the nail and flesh of my thumb as I watched him walk around my room naked looking for a towel to wipe the lube I'd covered his back and sides with from forgeting to wipe my hands after applying it to his cock and my ass. He grinned at me as he stood their naked and laughed as he asked me what I was doing. "Recovering", I beamed back at him, and promptly popped my thumb back in my mouth. He let me relax as he turned on my playstation to play uncharted2 multiplayer under my screen name, alh3na4dams. By the time he had found a match, I'd set up a little baricade to block his view from where he was sitting and my girlcock as I pulled up some str8 anal porn that got warmed up with the usual vaginal sex before upgrading to the ass, and played with myself imagining I was the owner of the pussy getting fucked and that he was the boy. About ten minutes in, I threw my legs up in the air and squeezed out his cum to see if I could, and when I pulled up my hand to inspect I found a huge wad of cum in it, all in one piece. I considered eaiting it for a second but decided against it since it had been chilling in my ass for the past ten minutes, even though I had cleaned myself out thouroughly with 4 lukewarm water enemas before we started filming. I wiped it off my hand using a paper towel and got myself off shortly thereafter, after which I joined him in shooting people in the face, switching off after each death, making my opponents wonder how I was able to switch my style up so often (he likes to grab the minigun, which - if he can get it- practically garuntees him 4-5 kills, whereas I like to stay near the grenade launcher spawn point, suprising the guys that feel irrationally compelled to check if it has spawned yet despite the fact that i just killed them there and am obviously going to get it first). We played for a while and then I went downstairs to fix us 4th meal, filling his plate with a lion's share of gallo pinto (think taking red beans and rice and making fried rice out of it, minus the egg, plus diced onions and green peppers) that my hispanic mommy had made before laying 65% (the newyork strip side) of a porterhouse steak on top of it while retaining the smaller tenderloin medalion for myself (evil grin). I walked our plates upstairs and we watched king of the hill while we ate. When we were done, I got busy doing things on my computer, splitting our volume1 dvd (featuring unreleased bj scenes and our first 2 anal scenes) into 200mb portions using winrar in order to upload them in order to provide my customers with the option of digital distribution while they wait for their hardcopy in the mail and doing other forms of the busy work that is a part of running a start up porn company. He played dragon age and puffed on his e-ciggarette (I'm making him quit the real stuff) as I sat 2-3 feet away from him, doing everything I could to make money to support our lives and our future together.''

p.s

''Can a bitch get some help with this?
I made this myself, and ya I know its 1/10, but I had to meet a deadline so I met it.
Anybody got some graphic design skills, some free time, and the desire to help a transgirl launch her porn career?''

Don Carlos - young Girl

2010-03-21T14:10:00.000Z

aarab muzik

2010-03-21T13:36:00.003Z

Just like one of those fat kids who used to be really good with a rubix cube, but with an mpc instead. Most of us got far too into cock play in our teens to ever achieve this kind of status.

sumi...

2010-03-21T13:27:00.006Z

...from fashion toast

don't lie

2010-03-21T12:40:00.010Z

You know how when you first start seeing a girl, you find yourself accidentally telling them all kinds of subtly untrue stuff about yourself to make you sound a bit more interesting and mysterious. Well three years down the line you may still be seeing that girl and those lies will just become more and more awkward and difficult to uphold.

Like the time i was fingering some girl and got cramp in my foot.

I lept off the bed and i think i may have actually squealed. This would have appeared unusually ridiculous, because i'm 6'4'', so when i leap around in agony, it's arms and legs everywhere and things get knocked off of shelves, i think i broke a hello kitty lamp that came from some family holiday in Australia.

I'd just had my finger inside of her, and i was probably about to get my dick sucked pretty hard, so understandably i didn't want to kill the mood. (actually it ran a bit deeper than that, i genuinely liked her and didn't want her to think i was a total bell end, but it sounds better if i say i just wanted to get my cock sucked).

So as i paced the room in agony, she lay there naked and asked, 'what the FUCK was that?'.

a reply of 'Cramp' would have just sounded way too pathetic so in a moment of madness i decided to tel her, ''you know how Mel Gibson's shoulder occasionally pops out of joint by accident in lethal weapon?, well that happens with my big toe sometimes.''

Fair enough, she swallowed my cum about two minutes later, but i had to maintain the lie that i had a toe which randomly popped out of joint for a very long time. She would announce it at family meals and everything in front of my Mum, who knew full well i didn't have a Mel Gibson toe.

Butt munch 2 - Back to the Crack

2010-03-21T12:34:00.002Z

Is that a gentleman's bum he's sniffing? If i was gay i don't think i'd be into sniffing my lover's crease. But that's just me.

Israel Kamakawiwo'ole- Hawaii 78 into E ala E

2010-03-15T15:12:00.002Z

Bum out in public - back seat edition/ Rosie Huntington Whitely

2010-03-15T15:08:00.001Z

if you can tolerate Danny Dyer...

2010-03-15T14:52:00.004Z

...then watch this. It's actually worth it for the insight into the gypsy lifestyle, if you didn't get enough from that gypsy weddings program which was on the other week. Also look out for X-factor winner Shane Ward who pops up as one of their relatives and he's all out of shape in a vest.

lady gaga proves there is no cock...

2010-03-12T16:07:00.007Z

One of the constant battles the modern man faces within himself is trying to decide whether or not lady gaga is worth cracking one to. She's really not all that hot most of the time, but then when she's pretty much naked in public, you just can't avoid getting the odd bit of cock swell to the sight of her perfect buttocks.

I love the theories about her being an illuminati puppet, and when i find a definitive video on that subject, i'll post it.

The infamous tampon string photos of her on stage (google images it yourself, i'm not re-visiting that hell) had pretty much put me off her for life, but this video has brought her back into being the kind of woman i would allow to sit on my face and rock back and forth until she climaxed several times.

It really wouldn't have bothered me whether she had a cock or not, but here's some reasonably conclusive evidence on the subject. Sorry you have to listen to the song to view it, just turn the volume down or something.

marvin gay/truths and rights rythm

2010-03-12T15:24:00.002Z

Incase you don't know the original...

bum out in public

2010-03-11T20:53:00.001Z

a new regular feature...

Still fit?

2010-03-11T20:47:00.003Z

somewhere up north...

2010-03-11T20:39:00.002Z

... i think, excuse my ignorance. There is nothing much to do there except this type of japery...

...or dashing water over tramps...

...if you lived there, this would happen to you...

transformation

2010-03-11T20:37:00.000Z

valley of knockanure / truths and rights riddim REMIX

2010-03-06T16:44:00.007Z

I can't fucking believe that this exists.

Gypsy prince toasting irish folk classics over the truths and rights riddim in your living room.

Who the fuck gave this a two star rating on youtube, this is easily a five if ever i saw one!!

Another one...

myspace

Tuan Anh

2010-03-02T17:46:00.003Z

One of the first things i ever saw on the internet was this...

maths...

2010-03-01T19:28:00.005Z

...equation...

+
+
=

At the time of writing this i have never heard the music in this video.

Cock Sparrer - England Belongs To Me

2010-02-16T22:00:00.001Z

Someone findme a download please x

inna di tree

2010-02-16T16:33:00.001Z

Blessed

Ridin Dirty

2010-02-16T16:27:00.003Z

Link, strictly not safe for any kind of work place, unless you work in your bedroom with your cock in your hands.

Purple Aki

2009-06-10T16:46:00.003+01:00

I had never heard of this character until my friend at thedrolldollshouse informed me. I just can't believe how good his story is, so i thought he deserved a post all of his own.

LINK

Mad Ricky...

2009-06-09T14:25:00.006+01:00

Every neighbourhood has it's notorious characters. The local papers describe him as an 'aggressive beggar', but many people in my town are quite fond of him.

I prefer the second song, but had to post first vid so you could see him better...

I'm quite a reggae fan, but i never heard these songs before. Anybody ID them, maybe he wrote them...

P.S that is NOT me with the skinhead.

David Carradine death photo...

2009-06-07T22:33:00.003+01:00

...or maybe not. Thai newspapers are saying it's the real thing, but what do you think?

Thanks to Chris at DocumentingReality.com for sending me this.

Loan wolf prince

2009-06-07T19:51:00.004+01:00

Some guy on deviant art has made a picture of himself naked with a wolf whilst some kind of an eclipse goes on in the background. If anybody can offer any further information on this i will be eternally indebted to you, thanks.

Who the heck is this?

2009-06-06T13:00:00.003+01:00

Which famous folk did these grow up to be?

1.

2.
3.

There's no prize just honour. Maybe it's obvious i don't know.

Is this a good look?

2009-06-05T16:40:00.004+01:00

I don't want to end up dead like Heath Ledger (might have the wrong twin there, i don't know too much about them) and i know she looks a bit like an eccentric Grandmother from the future but i can't help but feel a strange desire to apply my cock meat to the area between her non existent tits.

This is the best red carpet look I've seen in a long time, what are your opinions on the outfit?

Teen transition

2009-06-03T11:00:00.008+01:00

That girl you just started seeing...

Maybe she use to be somebody else....

Maybe she use to collect weapons....

............................................................................................

Click the pictures to get a better look...

Facebook- cladge on blast

2009-06-02T10:43:00.004+01:00

Judging by the comment underneath i'm guessing the white square was added afterwards so this picture could be posted on various funny picture websites and that it was originally uncensored on facebook.

If anybody has any similar facebook mishaps please send me them, thanks.

Congrats on the new baby.....

2009-06-01T22:01:00.006+01:00

This woman probably comes from America. I'm guessing this to be true as she is so religious that she's decided to keep her miscarriage and treat it as a normal child.

They should definitely make an ice lolly in that shape.

japness

2009-05-28T18:40:00.004+01:00

I've got board with English music so i was looking for some japanese stuff, shame i can't understand it...

Shame this one is such poor quality recording...

This one does not need translating i suppose...

ANCIENT ASTRONAUTS

2009-05-27T11:45:00.000+01:00

I am pretty much obsessed with this kind of stuff.

jpg.

2009-05-27T11:09:00.007+01:00

Just getting rid of some stuff, i can't really remember if i posted these before.

Become a woman

2009-05-26T14:13:00.003+01:00

This is scary. Some kind of hypnotic brainwash video designed to convince you that you are actually a woman. I watched the first 10 seconds and my brain started to go numb, not sure if the video was working or if i was just still hung over from the bank holiday.
It's probably a load of nonsense but i don't really want to risk watching it, next thing you know I'll be tucking my nuts and pulling my pants up as high as i can to achieve some kind of thong status.

La roux

2009-05-25T17:24:00.004+01:00

I just got dissed for saying i think she's fit.

So, i've been wondering for a while...

Is she a lez?

Does she have tits?

Would you fuck with her?

That's basically how the male mind works

Obama worship #2

2009-05-25T17:10:00.002+01:00

Obama socks

Obama ring

Ojamas

Where is all the Gordon Brown merchandise?

Bum Aids

2009-05-25T16:38:00.005+01:00

Let's face it, we've all been down on a girl's ass at some stage, maybe after you had a few drinks or perhaps it was her birthday? You might even be the kind of guy whose into doing it on a regular basis, if that's the case you will probably also be the kind of guy who eats kebabs when sober and licks the bones clean at chicken cottage.

Do you remember those big bowls in the school canteen into which you would scrape your plate when finished? Then they would take them all off to a pig farm or something. There was a Yugoslavian kid in my school with Spock ears who use to go over to those left over bowls and pick out the odd half eaten hot dog or something. I expect he grew up to be a fully fledged ass eater.

As a man it's probably the hottest act you can watch one girl perform on another, but the question is, is this unholy act safe? Well now there's a website dedicated to the subject. You can send in all your woes to the problem page, for example:

''Dear Ass Master,

My boyfriend keeps telling me that if I learn to eat his ass deep enough, I could lick his prostate. Is that really true?Betty, OH''

Link

Gay belly fanatics

2009-05-10T12:12:00.007+01:00

Nothing ever really surprises/confuses us on the Internet anymore. We've all seen pretty much everything now right? Well, let me introduce you to the homosexual fetish of trying to achieve the biggest belly you possibly can. I don't really know much about this niche, except for the fact it's rapidly gaining in popularity. When i first uncovered this sordid underbelly of the online gay community, i thought maybe just one or two misfits would be into it, but there are whole forums and everything filled with hordes of young bucks trying their hardest to look pregnant.

The thing that confuses me is that they are otherwise reasonably slender young men, who just want bloated bellies. How do they even achieve this look? Surely the weight would just pile on everywhere?

Some of them list their interests as 'feeding' or 'gaining' and they give themselves names like 'Max Capacity'.

How do they hide these monstrosities when they are out and about? If anybody has any info on this fetish please get in touch. Thanks.

Horses.

2009-05-05T00:41:00.004+01:00

I've always been suspicious of girls who are into horses. It looks fucking boring, so surely there must be something more to it than meets the eye. Why is it always girls who ride horses anyway? Is it a sexual thing? I know some girls break their hymens through vigorous horse riding, technically loosing their virginity to the animal, but do they actually get thrills from rubbing off against the saddle? Is that what it's all about? Sitting up high on a saddle in the open country air, breathing in the fresh scent of manure, openly experiencing full body climaxes in public. There must be something strangely invigorating about the whole performance.

Somebody who reads this must be into horse riding, so please tell me, does it make you cum or what?

Everyone's probably seen this, but anyway here's the link, don't click it if you're at work-

Horseplay

mojo priest

2009-04-27T16:31:00.006+01:00

Steven Seagal has been obsessed with all things chink for so long he has actually started to look Japanese. My mate refused to believe he wasn't half jap (i think he just squints a lot), so i had to google the fucker to prove it. I found out that not only does he have his own line of knives on the market, he has also released a couple of albums.

He use to have an aftershave called 'scent of action'. If anyone can find me a picture i'll swap it for a jpg. of Michael Jackson photoshopped to have tits.

sorry i dont post anymore

2009-04-27T15:52:00.002+01:00

This is good though...

images

2009-03-05T15:07:00.003Z

All from here

Abduction splint

2009-03-04T22:24:00.001Z

what?

2009-03-04T19:49:00.006Z

My blog got shut the fuck down for a while, thanks for your kind messages of concern.

Anyway, here's some pictures of the ginger one from girls aloud i collected. Don't you think it's weird how she's known as 'the ugly one' where as in real life terms she's probably a whole lot fitter than anything you will ever get to stick your dick in. Kind of like when a group of healthy young males flick through a porn mag together and judge the girls by the shape of their fannies. That just doesn't happen in real life.

What i wanted to say is i'm pretty slow on catching on to things or understanding puns, word plays and all that crud. I only just realised that girls aloud meant girls being loud as well as yes girls are indeed allowed here.

But one saying i have spent my entire life trying to figure out is, ''i know it like the back of my hand''. What the fuck does that mean? What is there to know about the back of your hand? It's not like there's a map on it or anything.

Then after saying it to someone the other day it suddenly dawned on me. The back of your hand is probably the palm of your hand, because as you look down at it you have to turn it over to see the palm, so that must be the back. The reason most young men know the back of their hand so intimately is because they make love to it so regularly. So that must be what the saying is all about. You might as well be saying ''I know how to do that just as well as i know how to have a furious wank session.'' It was probably made up by pirates or something.

Now every time i hear someone using this catchphrase i just get uncomfortable visions of them rubbing themselves off, and hopefully now that you've read this, so will you.

Was this meaning just obvious to everyone else? Or am i chatting breeze?

hello

2009-03-04T19:31:00.000Z

my blog thing is broke

Robin Williams vs Bono

2009-02-26T21:22:00.005Z

Are they the same person? Why do they have the same head?

Bobby Yip

2009-02-26T15:07:00.007Z

Seriously, someone needs to find me a download of this song. I want Bobby Yip playing this at my wedding, to...

Who kind of reminds me of...

But in a good way.

Sorry, i just couldn't resist posting this picture for the effect it will have on most people...

Anyone else into that hollyoaks girl?

MJ goods for sale

2009-02-25T15:45:00.002Z

I just found out about this auction featuring a load of MJ's belongings. Link...

Obama worship

2009-02-24T21:55:00.007Z

Everyone is bumming Barack Obama. If i was a half breed i would be a little bit offended. He's not black. You half breeds need to stand up and claim ownership of him as your first president. There is actually a website dedicated to Obama art. It's funny how the very artists who were trying to subvert politricks are now contributing to it all, reflecting how the whole world is disappearing up it's own bumhole.

The evil part of me hopes everything goes wrong and Obama turns out to be the anti christ or something, just so i can laugh at you all.

Link to gay Obama art blog

public information

2009-02-23T15:00:00.003Z

They are watching

2009-02-23T13:51:00.004Z

They are putting cameras into our electrical goods, so just bare this in mind next time your girlfriend/mother goes out and you decide to put on her underwear, cover your dick in peanut butter, place it in your golden retrievers mouth and stick a wooden spoon up your ass (wood is generally not a good material for ass dildos, because no matter how much you clean it after use, some germs can live within the grains of the wood. It's a similar principle to why glass chopping boards are better than wooden ones).

Talking of wooden spoons. In my university days i had this girl back to mine (asian, just for the mental picture). We were both pretty fucked after a night out so obviously her boundaries were coming down and whilst we were getting down to business she announced that she wanted something in her ass. In this case a finger just wouldn't suffice, she wanted some kind of deeper penetration, so i frantically searched the flat for anything i could use as a dildo. Bottles are no good as they can create a vacuum whilst inserted and then become lodged within the anal canal itself. So i went searching in the kitchen utensil drawer. The first thing that caught my eye was my flatmates wooden spoon, i worked out in my head that if i bummed her with the handle part, the main spoon piece would act as a make shift butt plug, preventing her ass from entirely swallowing the whole thing up (this can happen, google it). O.K it wasn't MY wooden spoon but at this point in time i really didn't give a fuck about ownership.
Anyway after the deed was done i put the wooden spoon in the top drawer of the desk in my room and pretty much forgot about the whole sordid episode. I left that wooden spoon unwashed in my top drawer for the entire year i was in those halls of residence. On many occasion there were up to roughly eight stoned and drunk fellow students/class mates in my room at a time, including the unfortunate young chap who had been wondering where the fuck his wooden spoon had disappeared to. Every time i had a room full of people, maybe one of them sitting on top of the desk with the spoon in it, it would suddenly occur to me that if one of them were to open that drawer and glance upon the shit stained stiring device, my life would basically be over.

A.) I shouldn't have stolen the guys wooden spoon to begin with. That's bad enough. B.) I should never have taken that theft a step further and placed the spoon into anybodies anal cavity. C.) How the fuck would i convince an entire room full of shocked and disgusted people that i had not used the spoon to sodomise myself senseless and it wasn't my shit ingrained onto the handle.
Thank whoever fucking created this earth that nobody opened that top drawer, (just like the top drawer in Alan Partridge's travel lodge hotel room). These are the kind of risks i live with on a day to day basis.

i love technology

2009-02-17T12:45:00.004Z

Look at this girl, she's receiving this text and she wants everyone to think it comes from some secret annex of her life which is far more exciting than the social situation she is currently failing to enjoy herself in. This is a new type of behaviour which has been born out of the mobile phone.
There really is no skill or technique involved in this horrid practise, you just have to silently receive the text, never announce who it's from, but look as if you really need to respond, right now. For extra effect, whilst you reply to the text, you can continue the real life conversation you were involved in as you received the message, but don't listen to the other person and then ask them to repeat themselves once you've hit send.

Rotund females in particular, love this type of behaviour. They're not getting any attention in reality, so by simply receiving a text they want to create the illusion they have a whole fucking abundance of males pestering them day and night for any kind of action they can get there hands on. Because you don't know anything of this army of admirers, they must move in circles far beyond anything you'll ever amount to. Stripped down to it's most basic elements these girls want you to believe they basically have someone of the magnitude of a minor celebrity on the other end of the phone begging them for sex, arranging secret rendezvous in which they will commit sexual acts you didn't even realise were possible. One of Hollyoaks is on the other end of that fucking phone begging to eat the finest Belgian truffles out of the crack of her ass.

Or maybe it's just her mum, asking where she put the hairdryer.

who is your money on?

2009-02-17T12:42:00.002Z

Fedor Vs Hong Man Choi...

Here's the fight...

Fedor Vs Hong Man-Choi
Uploaded by DBFDM

Hidden messages

2009-02-15T11:07:00.004Z

Michelle Obama throwing up a satanic, illuminati, hornid-one, el diablo affiliated gang sign on the front cover of vogue.

The face has something of the beast about it aswell.

Afro-caucasian male 44 seeking trans couple for LTR (must be able to accommodate)...

2009-02-14T17:54:00.004Z

...is the latest book title i am involved in the production of. The book will feature a number of personal adds posted on various internet dating sites and the most interesting, unusual or mundane responses they garner.

The format will be, one page: inserted advert along with picture, the following page(s): responses along with attached pictures (censored to protect identity).

If you would like the opportunity to write an advert for a dating website which may be used in the book in some form, please do so in the comments section below or email me. Please be as creative (yet realistic) as you can.

Many thanks

How to tuck yo nuts

2009-02-14T16:47:00.009Z

Nut tucking is a technique where the testicles are pushed up into the abdomen to conceal the bulge that your cock and balls would usually create. It is popular with transvestite types and ballet dancers and is also used as a form of contraception as it heats the testicles whilst they are inside the abdomen and reduces fertility.

I personally do not think i could bring myself to push my nuts up into my abdomen for any amount of money, but if you want to give it a go here is a quick guide:

The Tuck

There's only one place for the penis to go, and that's to fold it back between the legs. However, first the testicles must be gently pushed into the space they retract to when cold - yes they do pop out again afterwards! If not press gently on the bottom of the abdomen. This is where they sat when you were young, after all.
The space they dropped through is still there. The easiest way to learn to do this is to lie flat on your back with your feet flat on the floor, and find the place to push them into your abdomen. This will generally be straight up, relative to your body.

With this done, you can tuck your penis back comfortably, and all you need is a pair of panties that are tight enough to hold it all in place. But you will need to experiment to see what works best for you.

With a bit of practice, you can do the tuck in less than a second while standing up and pulling your panties on. It really is simple and painless once you figure it out.

Little is known about the safety of repeatedly tucking your balls up inside yourself for prolonged periods, but apparently there is very little chance to do serious harm to yourself. Theoretically it is possible to tangle the seed ducts, which doesn't sound great and will require surgical rectification. Unfortunately we have no reliable information about this problem, so as a rule of thumb if it starts to hurt, pop them back out.

The best song any footballer has ever been involved in

2009-02-13T15:12:00.002Z

Extreme boner killers #1

2009-02-12T20:17:00.006Z

Don't you hate it when you discover a tragic flaw in an otherwise perfectly acceptable human being? Like finding out your best mate has set up a profile on second life, or even worse when you realise a girl you were into is a vegetarian.

Well look at this girl, more than acceptable, not really into the facial piercing but i can let that go... Pretty amaizing body to be honest...

She has the whole androgynous look pretty much down to perfection (who else is into that?)...

Then just when you think she couldn't get much better...

...You find out she has a tattoo which looks like something an autistic kid would scribble on the back of their exercise book. I don't really want to have to jizz on a disabled child's drawing to be honest.

If i repeatedly performed the unholy act, it may eventually condition my brain to rely on that kind of imagery to achieve any kind of arousal.

That glimpse of tit shows she could have had so much potential.

Could you maintain the full adult male erectile state in the face of such turmoil?

whats a square dance?

2009-02-12T19:56:00.001Z

Never too young to die

2009-02-10T21:58:00.007Z

Vanity

imdb

can you make it look like i'm just chillin on my gameboy

2009-02-10T14:04:00.002Z

Valentine's day cards

2009-02-08T22:16:00.004Z

Here are some new valentine's day cards available from the bonanza shop for £4.99 in sets of 10 (5 of each in various colourways). There was going to be a third design which said, ''sorry for giving you aids'' but i couldn't be bothered to make it.

Card 1

Internal Message

Card 2

Internal message

If I've spelt anything wrong please let me know, thanks

Listen and look

2009-02-06T15:33:00.010Z

Listen to the music, look at the pictures...

80 blocks from Tiffany's

2009-02-06T13:26:00.003Z

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8

If you look at the comments of the previous post you will see that hip hop professor the martorialist has left me a recommendation for a youtube clip (thanks). Which led me to this other documentary thing, i haven't even watched it yet, but it looks pretty rad. I have so many documentaries to catch up on i might post a couple more here.

Part 7 seems to be missing, if you find it let me know.

Here's the description from youtube:

''This 1979 documentary film focuses on gangs such as the savage skulls & nomads who occupied areas of the south bronx. Perhaps even more compelling is considering that the backdrop and social conditions in this film are a 'far cry' from the lifestyle being promoted through disco music and film. Perhaps this answers questions to why many people took preference over the funk records which arguably pathed the way for Hip Hop culture. ''

Jonzun Crew - Pack Jam (1983)

2009-02-05T16:11:00.000Z

fanny packs

2009-02-05T11:37:00.007Z

New age hippies too comfortable with their vaginas for their own good...

I don't get this in any way shape or form.Bags that look like cunts.

I couldn't have any kind of relations with a girl who had one of these vadge-satchels. Imagine, for example, if i wanted to take her round my nans. It just wouldn't work.

From their description:

''More than a sumptuous Renaissance bag, the Velvet V represents in three-dimensional form the sacred portal to the feminine temple.''

''Each has sumptuous fabric labia and a beautiful button clitoris.''

They're not fucking cheap either:

Link

Brian M. Viveros

2009-02-02T22:07:00.001Z

Link

merchandise #1

2009-02-02T16:33:00.006Z

Guys i'd swing for #2

2009-02-02T16:28:00.005Z

Dreamtime #2

2009-02-01T19:18:00.009Z

Last night i had a dream that i went to a restaurant which was only serving bear curry. It was very tough meat. I had to eat it as i was worried people would think i was some kind of pussy clut . Now i found out it actually exists...Then i dreamt i went round Natalie Portman's house (she lived in the loft of a farm outbuilding). I found her playing one of those world of warcraft type games naked. She was strangely hairy with a crud tattoo of a rectangle on her left shoulder blade. She told me to look out the window into the farmyard where there were many cars scattered about the place. She said i could take my pick of any one of them like that scene in karate kid. I always loved that scene as a kid, maybe one of my best film scenes ever. I always wanted to be offered to choose one of those cars, but now that i finally had reached this point in my life i suddenly realised my own car was probably better than any of those on offer. So i turned her down and she was 50% offended, 50% impressed. This is a crucial point in a mans life when he realises his own vehicle is better than any of those Mr Miagi could offer him. It's your entry into manhood, like overcoming your father in a fight. Anyway after i politely said 'no thanks', Natalie wanted to play a weird sex game where i blew up an inflatable toy car whilst she lay underneath it getting sexual thrills from the sensation of it expanding over her body.
How can my brain think up something like bear curry whilst i am fast asleep? The mind is a wonderful thing.

1983

2009-02-01T14:02:00.002Z

Could someone please find me a download of this, thankyou. x

Also...

The dark side of fame- Mickey Rourke

2009-01-30T01:01:00.003Z

become the woman you know you are and always have been...

2009-01-30T00:24:00.014Z

If they have any kind of shops in hell, this is the kind of stuff they'll be selling...
This is little beauty is what they call a v-string. It's like a g-string, but it's worn by tranny types to make them feel they've got their very own V.G.

You see, you can pull your cock down through the hole so your bell piece pokes through and acts as the clit, which if you think about it, means you can sort of piss like a woman too.

Here's how it looks in practice...

Ok fair enough, the v-string, i can just about handle that, they can match your skin tone and pubic hair type, no problem with that, but surely there is no need for these monstrosities...

Full rubber 'female' face masks. If anybody is thinking of making a horror film i think these would be your best option for the serial killer's disguise. If you're still not convinced then take a look at these full female body suits...

Check all the products out here if you want to.

Time destroys everything #2

2009-01-28T01:38:00.005Z

I'm pretty sure i got one of my first boners to Madonna in desperately seeking Susan. Also, she always reminded me of my cousin who is the same age as me. So more or less all my life i have wanted to fuck my cousin. I know it's not a great idea to see family reunions as an opportunity to get some action, but i couldn't help it. I only ever see her once a year or something, so it doesn't really count as incest does it? I basically know she has always felt the same but neither of us ever had the guts to do anything about it. Probably one of the biggest regrets of my life i suppose. Anyway, it's always been one of my top ten fantasies or something, along with fucking my old science teacher who i once had to watch dissect a lambs heart (the bits of heart under her finger nails totally killed it for me). I'm pretty much over my cousin lust now as i looked her up on facebook to crack one over her pictures but found she'd gained loads of weird weight and has ended up morphing into a disturbing version of my Auntie.

Bonanza Fahions #1

2009-01-26T22:10:00.002Z

Revelations of a Mother Goddess

2009-01-26T21:50:00.002Z

This is three hours long or something. David Icke interviewing 'Arizona Wilder'. Basically she's a bit mad and thinks she's seen the Queen mum in lizard form eating human flesh at satanic rituals, so the interview is quite entertaining. Also David Icke gives his own little Illuminati tour of London at the beginning which is pretty interesting.

''Arizona Wilder, formerly Jennifer Greene, was mind-programmed from birth, to become one of the three most important female conductors of Satanic rituals on the planet. Her programmer was Josef Mengele, the notorious, "Angel of Death" in the Nazi concentration camps and when he died in the late 1980's her programming began to break down. In this video interview with David Icke, she describes human sacrifice rituals at Glamis Castle and Balmoral, in which the Queen, the Queen Mother and other members of the Royal Family sacrificed children in Satanic ceremonies. She talks of the same experiences with Henry Kissinger, George Bush, Bill Clinton, members of the Rockefeller and Rothschild families and a host of the most famous names in the United States and the United Kingdom. Your view of the world will never be the same when you hear the revelations of Arizona Wilder and their relevance to your daily life.''

Amazon wishlist #1

2009-01-25T11:11:00.003Z

Thanks

''Gurlz''

2009-01-25T10:53:00.003Z

If i was making a film, i would put this guy telling this story in it, i think it has a certain radness about it.

Speaking of which, my mate once told me this story of how his older brother nearly got thrown out of the house by his mum because she found a bizarre masturbatory device in his wardrobe. It was basically a jam jar to which he had somehow attached chicken fillets to the inside edge. He obviously then stuck his cock in it to simulate what he thought a vagina would feel like. A little odd i must say, but i wouldn't have thought it would warrant turfing him out on the streets for.

Kanye and Jay-Z, in league with the devil

2009-01-23T15:40:00.005Z

I use to live with a guy who was obsessed with those conspiracy theories about Tupac still being alive. ''Like if you take the 3rd letter from his name, multiply it by his date of birth, turn it sideways it spells Eagle. The eagle is a symbol of life, therefore he is alive.'' This guy use to write lists of these theories and pin them up on our notice board in the hallway. Also he stunk of TCP, i swear he either use to use it as a shower gel or an aftershave.
But anyway now these types are all worked up over the Jay-Z and Kanye theories. Apparently they are in league with the Illuminati (a secret society of powerful folk who rule the world and want to bring us all under the new world order).
If you know anything about Illuminati theories, these videos will mean something to you, otherwise they probably wont, but here you go:

"What it's about is the fact that Jigga is a Lucifer-worshiping Mason. And he's pulled in Kanye and Nas. All the symbols are masonic/pagain/satanic especially the pink goat's head shirt Kanye is wearing. And just listen to the song...it's about secret societies and the satanic Illuminati which employs JIgga. Do some research...free your mind." -RizNJ

???

2009-01-23T13:36:00.003Z

I could probably find this out by looking at her wikipedia page or something, but can someone tell me is it a man? Most of this popular culture shit washes straight over me so i don't have a fucking clue like some kind of confused nan, so someones got to help me out here. What's the gender? Sources and proof would help.

Also if it is a man would you still fuck with it?

Thanks

Dark Fellowships- The Nazi Cult

2009-01-22T17:57:00.002Z

This is one of the best documentaries ever. You have to watch it, it's in quite good quality aswell.

''Uncover the truth surrounding one of the most renowned and feared organisations in the world, the Vril Society.

Legend has it that the original members of the society believed they could live under the earth and fly to far away stars powered by a mysterious substance called Vril. They also believed that one day they would rule the world.

This dangerous group existed at the core of the Nazi Party, and like many dark fellowships, remnants of the group still exist today, almost 100 years after its founding.

In this special, viewers will discover what occult rites were performed by the organisation in their dark lust for ultimate power''.

Hitler youth

2009-01-22T17:41:00.002Z

If you're going to give all your kids Hitlerish names and then get a Swastika tattoo at least have the guts to admit that you're into Nazi stuff.

American food #7

2009-01-22T12:01:00.002Z

Ain't got time to bleed

2009-01-22T11:46:00.003Z

Will someone design me a retro tattoo with a skull crying blood with the text ''ain't got time to bleed.'' Thanks

The saturdays - choose 1 (or two)

2009-01-21T14:10:00.004Z

It doesn't matter how cool you think you are, or how old you get, when a new girl band comes along you have to choose your favourite. It's like an unwritten law of mankind.

I don't have a clue what there names are so i've numbered them to make it easier.

For me it's number 4, i love the petiteness and the fact i can't tell what the fuck her ethnic origin is. And because she's just fit.

Closely followed by number 3, because she looks like she may have once been a man or be somewhere in between, this makes her more interesting than the others.

Number 1 is dryness with too short hair.

Number 2 has flared nostrils.

Number 5 is too blond with a big tongue.

Take your pic?

Pleasure for sale

2009-01-21T13:11:00.003Z

I don't really see the appeal of prostitutes, if i was really that desperate i'd rather just crack one out. There are loads of documentaries on these legal brothels but this one seems to show more of the realities of these places.

episode1

episode2-

You can see loads more episodes in this guys youtube page:

Link

Gaylords

2009-01-19T13:27:00.006Z

Good gays:

Bad Gays:

Learn the difference.

P.s i just have to point out that the video is the gayest thing you will ever see and if you just skipped over this post and could not be bothered to watch it, you really need to go back and experience it.

What gender is your brain? - Test

2009-01-18T12:55:00.004Z

''Some researchers say that men can have 'women's brains' and that women can think more like men.''

Do you want to know what sex your brain is? Then do this test god dammit. I was just told my brain was exactly in the middle like some odd intersexed creature. Thanks for that. Obviously all it really means is i'd be more sensitive to a woman's needs in the bedroom than you.

Here is the test. Tell me your results so i don't get insecurities about my sexual identity, thanks.

Link

Le Bien, La Mal

2009-01-18T02:03:00.004Z

Vlad the impaler from Teenage Ghosts

Yes that's Patrick Swayze as a centaur surrounded by rainbows. Rad.

Would you?

2009-01-17T13:31:00.004Z

I was just wondering would any straight male out there be into this? Yeah she's 'famous' for all the wrong reasons (having a cunt for a brother and a cunt for a girlfriend) but i don't really give a shit about that. Her djing skills probably amount to her turning up and pressing shuffle, but i'm just talking from a visual point of view, would you? Because for some reason i'm feeling the androgynous looks and her anemic, class room nerd gangly stance. I don't know for sure, but i suspect these hardcore lesbians have pretty unkempt bushes, and i also fear she may have some kind of over masculinised clit-dick , which just developed from her high levels of testosterone and uncontrollable lust for females. But i like her shoes and every man likes to think they'd be the one male a lesbian would swing for.

Listen and look- Horror show edition

2009-01-17T13:16:00.011Z

Listen to the music, look at the pictures, savour the flavours

Boner jams

2009-01-15T14:48:00.003Z

There's something strangely liberating about accidentally popping a fully fledged boner in public.

We've all got our boner stories.

There's always the fear that if you do try to suppress your involuntary hard ons, you will fuck with the bodies natural balance resulting in an inability to achieve the erectile state when the need arises. So best to just go with it like these guys...

''Victor Webster Erection on Mutant X''

''wrestler big boner''

''Jean-Claude Van Damme gets an erection on television''

Fake?!

2009-01-15T14:21:00.003Z

It's more of a shock to a young boy to find out wrestling is fake than it is to find out father christmas doesn't exist. We all went through it.

P.S i grew out of wrestling when i was about 11.

Bad

2009-01-14T18:48:00.004Z

A tattoo of MJ with his signature gloved hand on a fucking tween Macaulay Culkin's crotch bulge is not a good idea. How many times can you laugh at any joke? At least i hope it's a joke. Maybe he likes them young so now he just busts a nut to his calf muscle any time he gets the horn. Or perhaps this is like throwing a flag up to the pedo community any time he's in public, 'hey i'm one of you'.

Uvulva

2009-01-14T18:23:00.007Z

I'm one of those people who never finishes anything and just always puts thing off until tomorrow, like completing your university degree or bothering to contact your illustration agent so he forgets that he ever actually agreed to represent you in the first place. Usually i just think who gives a shit, but when it comes to your physical body you should be a little more careful i suppose.

After i'd had my tonsils removed a while ago (it fucking kills) i took a look in the mirror at the back of my throat to assess the damage. It all looked OK at first but then i noticed that little thing which hangs down in the middle had gone missing. The fuckers had just lopped it off without so much as asking. Can they even do this? Anyway i just couldn't be bothered to ask why they'd taken it, so now i live a healthy life without one.

I have no idea what this thing is for, apparently it's called a 'Uvulva' or weather you are capable of living as a normal adult male without one (can i still have kids?) but if anyone knows anything about this please tell me. Thanks.

Nothing but trouble

2009-01-14T13:27:00.005Z

I probably posted about this before but i can't remember. Here is a scene from one of my favourite childhood films, Nothing but trouble. It features Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, John Candy, Demi Moore and somewhere the digital underground along with Tupac make an appearance.

''A businessman finds he and his friends the prisoners of a sadistic judge and his equally odd family in the backwoods of a bizarre mansion''

That's the plot summary from IMDB because i couldn't be bothered to write one. You can get it for £2.76 on amazon right now, i had to get it on pirate from ebay a couple of years ago. You missed out if you didn't see this 75 times as a yoot, but it's still worth watching now.