bonanza: March 2010

Sunday, 21 March 2010

aarab muzik

Just like one of those fat kids who used to be really good with a rubix cube, but with an mpc instead. Most of us got far too into cock play in our teens to ever achieve this kind of status.

You know how when you first start seeing a girl, you find yourself accidentally telling them all kinds of subtly untrue stuff about yourself to make you sound a bit more interesting and mysterious. Well three years down the line you may still be seeing that girl and those lies will just become more and more awkward and difficult to uphold.

Like the time i was fingering some girl and got cramp in my foot.

I lept off the bed and i think i may have actually squealed. This would have appeared unusually ridiculous, because i'm 6'4'', so when i leap around in agony, it's arms and legs everywhere and things get knocked off of shelves, i think i broke a hello kitty lamp that came from some family holiday in Australia.

I'd just had my finger inside of her, and i was probably about to get my dick sucked pretty hard, so understandably i didn't want to kill the mood. (actually it ran a bit deeper than that, i genuinely liked her and didn't want her to think i was a total bell end, but it sounds better if i say i just wanted to get my cock sucked).

So as i paced the room in agony, she lay there naked and asked, 'what the FUCK was that?'.

a reply of 'Cramp' would have just sounded way too pathetic so in a moment of madness i decided to tel her, ''you know how Mel Gibson's shoulder occasionally pops out of joint by accident in lethal weapon?, well that happens with my big toe sometimes.''

Fair enough, she swallowed my cum about two minutes later, but i had to maintain the lie that i had a toe which randomly popped out of joint for a very long time. She would announce it at family meals and everything in front of my Mum, who knew full well i didn't have a Mel Gibson toe.

Butt munch 2 - Back to the Crack

Is that a gentleman's bum he's sniffing? If i was gay i don't think i'd be into sniffing my lover's crease. But that's just me.

Monday, 15 March 2010

Israel Kamakawiwo'ole- Hawaii 78 into E ala E

Bum out in public - back seat edition/ Rosie Huntington Whitely

if you can tolerate Danny Dyer...

...then watch this. It's actually worth it for the insight into the gypsy lifestyle, if you didn't get enough from that gypsy weddings program which was on the other week. Also look out for X-factor winner Shane Ward who pops up as one of their relatives and he's all out of shape in a vest.

Friday, 12 March 2010

lady gaga proves there is no cock...

One of the constant battles the modern man faces within himself is trying to decide whether or not lady gaga is worth cracking one to. She's really not all that hot most of the time, but then when she's pretty much naked in public, you just can't avoid getting the odd bit of cock swell to the sight of her perfect buttocks.

I love the theories about her being an illuminati puppet, and when i find a definitive video on that subject, i'll post it.

The infamous tampon string photos of her on stage (google images it yourself, i'm not re-visiting that hell) had pretty much put me off her for life, but this video has brought her back into being the kind of woman i would allow to sit on my face and rock back and forth until she climaxed several times.

It really wouldn't have bothered me whether she had a cock or not, but here's some reasonably conclusive evidence on the subject. Sorry you have to listen to the song to view it, just turn the volume down or something.