jpg.

If you want some good pictures in your life you need to go and check this myspace account.

Link

Top ten samples...........Ever

This guy is such a dick that he almost goes full circle and becomes lovable. Almost. Are we really that far into the future that we have this 47 year old hiphop geography teacher reminiscing about the music from the good old days of the last century? Fuck, we must be, where's the hoverboards and orgasm machines we were promised. All we've got are ipods and fat people.
You will probably know many of these samples but this is actually quite interesting if you can tolerate 'DJ Functuall'.
Also, please note, i love the way some Americans have a map of just the USA as if it's the whole world or maybe even the universe. I did say some Americans, not all, please don't hate me and call me gay and stuff.





Thanks DJ Functuall, you pretty much rule if i'm honest and i wish you was my Uncle.

Amen

I don't know why a computer voiced serial killer talking about the most over used break of all time is so fascinating, but for some reason i watched/listened to the whole 20 minutes...

The Winstons- Amen Brother

The Mark of Cain

Sorry, more on my prison fetish... prison and art, what could be better...

The Mark of Cain is a 2000 documentary film on Russian criminal tattoos directed by Alix Lambert.


According to the book of Genesis, God placed a mark on the world's first murderer before sending him into exile. The mark of Cain indelibly branded its bearer as a criminal and social outcast.

It is not known when tattooing first became a common practice in Russian prisons and Stalinist Gulags. Soviet researchers first discovered and studied this underground activity in the 1920s; photographs of prisoners from that period suggest an already elaborate and highly developed subculture. More than simple decoration, the images symbolically proclaim the wearer's background and rank within the complex social system of the jailed

Check this out- link

"General" stars, most commonly found on the chest (upper left or right) and sometimes located on the knees(as seen above). The indevidual photographed above is seriously ranked. You can tell by the addition of crosses hanging from the (16)pointed stars. Also notice the foot shackles and "bells" hanging from them.

Alix Lambert's bookFor centuries, Russian prison inmates forcibly initiated newcomers with tattoos. Gradually, prisoners developed a secret form of communication with their tattoos, allowing them to establish rank among the other inmates and maintain a clandestine hierarchy. This book explores the grisly reality of Russian prisons and the people who inhabit them. Over 190 black and white and color photographs expose the different tattoos and their meanings, ranging from churches, crosses, Christs, Madonnas, military symbols, cats, dolphins, bears, hawks, and other startling images. Documentary filmmaker Alix Lambert traveled around modern Russia to film these sinister environments, collected stories to identify the dying art of tattooing in Russian prisons, and detailed the lives of the heavily marked inmates, past and present. This fascinating, spine-tingling book provides an entirely new outlook on tattoos and what they can represent!

Radio Bedlam

Some great images here, and a page translator which i copied...

Link

Anderson silva loss

And a flying arm bar just for fun...

Toilet Girl Tuesday

If you have a good toilet girl picture or would like to take one please send to conroyvanwinkle@hotmail.co.uk thanks.
Full credit will be given.

God

Even though i find religion pretty ridiculous, i still have this weird underlying deep routed irrational fear of God. Out of all the fucked up shit i've done in my life, i still consider the time i stole a collection box from a church when i was 12 to be the worst thing. Anytime something bad happens in my life i convince myself i'm being punished for stealing from that church. It was a green rectangular box about 8 inches in length filled with small change for children in Africa with AIDS or something. I snuck in with my friend one afternoon and we stole it to buy cigarettes. I think we got about £2 or something out of it. It's probably one of my main regrets in life, not only did i steal from a charity but i stole from God's front room.
So that's the power of religion, i like to say i don't believe in God but i'm shit scared of him. I always like to imagine what God must look like in different peoples heads. I always pictured him as having darker, longer hair than the image above. Kind of like an older Jesus. But i always just imagine his head for some reason, never a body. I would love to see other peoples visions of how God should look.

These creationists really aren't doing a very good job of convincing us...



Anyway God, i really just wanted to take this opportunity to genuinely say sorry for stealing that money. I don't know what you are, but i like to believe the theories that suggest you're an alien who dropped us all off here ages ago.

OFF HER TITS

Just incase you haven't seen it yet...

Simon cowells hair

I have this problem with some people where i just can't stop staring at their hair. It's like a small form of autism. I practically don't even know what their face looks like because i spend most of the time concentrating on the hair do and trying to work it out.

One of the people who has this effect on me is Simon Cowell. I heard this story that whenever he gets five minutes between filming on the x-factor he goes off and dangles his head upside down and blow dries it for extra bounce.

I've just worked out that he reminds me of Bart Simpson's church hair...
I found this picture where he looks like he's got a mullet, i think the world would be a much better place if he had his hair this way...

It's a rainy day.

sesame street

Link

Something about us

yyellowbird

Some updates at Yyellowbird's profile. This is one of the only things i like on flickr:

Link

Dwarfs

Dwarfism is the joke i never really got. Maybe i did once, but it's been used up so much i can't actually remember a time i ever found the little cunts funny. Why is it universally accepted that it's OK to laugh at dwarfs? ''They don't care they're only dwarfs.'' If you want to add to the humour of something just throw a fucking dwarf in. People love it. They can't get enough of small people doing silly stuff. Every time i see a comedy midget i'm just thinking 'fucking dwarfs again, who finds this shit funny?'

If you're a dwarf and you want to be in showbiz or become an actor, you really don't need to have any kind of skill or ability. Just be small and turn up on time. That will pretty much do.

I have no problem with dwarfs, i don't give a fuck about them either way to be honest. I just don't like it when my intelligence is insulted by somebody thrusting a midget in my face and expecting me to roll on the floor with laughter, just because he's smaller than normal. If you are a genuinely funny guy and you just happen to be a dwarf then that' fine with me.

But maybe i do have a slight problem with dwarfs...

...first of all, let me just say i find it slightly disturbing when a fully grown human has a dwarfs head. Take Ice-T for example:

Now that problem's out of the way, going back to my early childhood, we can explore the roots of this issue.

In the UK, we use to have this program called 'The Krankies'. It basically revolved around some odd father/uncle/parental guardian figure- 'Ian' and his mischievous little schoolboy son- Jimmy krankie, getting into various scrapes together. That all sounds innocent enough, i had no problem with the show and i use to quite enjoy it. But then one day whilst i was at home watching it on TV, probably eating some spaghetti hoops on toast, my mum went and dropped the bomb on me.....

'Conroy dear, you know little Jimmy krankie there. The mischievous little schoolboy son of Ian?Well that isn't his son, it's actually his........ ...........WIFE''

That was his wife! A little fucking woman, all done up as a schoolboy. Running about in shorts with a disturbing squeaky little Scottish accent. That shit is not safe for kids. I was seriously disturbed.

So maybe i just don't want to laugh at dwarfs incase i get bitten again.

makimaki updates

Link

after the 3rd day and before the 4th

Lots of people having fun...

Link

Toilet Girl Tuesday

If you have a good toilet girl picture or would like to take one please send to conroyvanwinkle@hotmail.co.uk thanks.
Full credit will be given.

youtube covers

If you just type whatever song you like and 'cover' into youtube, you will get a whole fucking list of people doing their own interpretations of that song. Quite often with a ukulele. Basically if you film yourself singing a song into the camera and upload it onto the internet, it's pretty much guaranteed i'm going to hate you. That's just the way it is.
Anyway here are some highlights, i'll try and deal with one song in particular to start with...

If this guy was in full drag, i could just about handle him. At least then he'd be honest.


This girl looks like she either had a stroke or was born with very little control over her mouth movement, but i still want to bend her over and eat her out from behind. Despite the hair do.



If i passed this fucker in the street, i'd probably push her under the wheel of a heavy goods vehicle. Sorry.



I can't really say anything hateful about this girl. She looks like the kind of intelligent little super geek you secretly wanted to fuck at school, but knew you'd never get a chance unless you were border line autistic.

This leads us swiftly onto another breed. The ones who put up their own material. It's always complete shit, guaranteed.
'Frankielovestoday' is clearly influenced by Kate Nash. In other words she tries to sing like fucking Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins.


Back to covers...
This guy just disturbs me, i think he might storm a school with some weapons or something...


Had to show you this one because the guy in the middle looked half pigeon...


And last of all i actually quite like this one, because they look like they're from some end of the world cult who'll all decide to kill themselves one day...

This one's fully exempt from all the hatred. This is more like the American version of the wicker man than that recent Nicholas Cage nonsense.

Most of these fuckers are acting so disgustingly, showing us such embarrassing over genuine forms of self expression they might as well just be masturbating.

Photography of the day

Re: it's so cold in the D

watch this one first:

Then this one:

Stacked decks

I love decks of cards with pictures of naked people and stuff on them. I sometimes search for them on ebay and pay ridiculous amounts for them. I don't even play cards.

I mainly like the illustrated ones. If they are photographic images the deck has to be really special to catch my interest. This website has a very good collection available, some of them had a bit to much going on in them for me to post here, but definately worth a look:

Link

Check out their other sections aswell, they've got some fascinating imagery in there.

There is also a book available, which i am considering.

Book link

lina scheynius

Some nice photography here:

Link

Monkey steals the peach

click to learn technique

Just thought i'd scan this page for you from my ninjitsu handbook, so that if anybody troubles you on the street you'll be able to grab their scrote and fuck with their ch'ueng mo.

Unreported facts

Why has nobody mentioned that Nadine Coyle has got the same head as Harrison Ford?

bruce

the boss needs to rehearse aswell...

Thankyou

Dear god,
thanks for not making me be involved in these types of fetishes.
Amen

Crossover video

Sorry for not updating, crossover asked me to make this video so they could have the song animal girl on their myspace. I thought it would be easy, just make the video and upload it to youtube. But youtube is an absolute cunt. I would have pretty much gave up altogether if this guy hadn't helped me. Check out his guide for uploading high quality youtube videos and encoding videos. If ever you need to know about that type of stuff this is the place to get your info:

http://www.youtubehq.info/

Anyway i decided to use this blip website instead, as youtube is shit. Here is the video:



P.s if anyone else knows any other good video hosting sites or is good with youtube let me know, thanks.

DVD

Fucking heck!, check this website out, i couldn't believe some of the films they had on sale. I couldn't find any videos of them on youtube in the 4 minutes i spent trying but reading the descriptions is good enough...

The Amazing Mr. No Legs

(1981)

A martial arts hit-man with no legs does the dirty work for a drug syndicate from a wheelchair armed with shotguns and weapons. His girlfriend gets killed and he plans to take over the whole syndicate. This film is unbelievable.

What the fuck, cripsloitation, that's a whole new genre. I actually found a video...

Gayniggers from Outer Space (1992)
A team of intergalactic explorers discover a female presence on planet earth. They then take it upon themselves to single-handedly exterminate the female population. Their results are met with gratitude from a male population that feels they have been “enslaved” and “suppressed” by women. When the gay explorers finally leave, they leave behind a gay ambassador who educates Earth’s men in their new freedoms and their new way of life. This film is an amazing cult favorite that should not go unseen.
Yeah, i found a video of this one as well...





The Pig Fucking Movie One Man And His Pig (aka: The Pig Fucking Movie 1974)
Very strange art film about a crazy farmer that falls in love with his pig and has mutant babies with it. When the mutant babies gravitate toward the mother instead of him, he gets jealous and kills all the babies. The mother pig eventually kills herself and drives this film further into the gutter. This film is an obscure cult film but definitely is not for everyone

The Rapeman (1993)
Amazing first film in a series of films about am “superhero” named Rapeman who is a teacher and detective during his day job and a hired rapist by night. Rapeman and his uncle run Rapeman Services which is a company that hires their services to spouses and lovers who are seeking vengeance. Rapeman and his uncle get caught up in a political parties plan to disgrace their opponent in order to win an election.

Other film titles...

Simon, King Of The Witches

Schoolgirls In Cement

Turkish Wizard Of Oz

Zombie Vs. Ninja

Filipino Mad Max (that one has to be purchased)

See the rest for yourself:

Link