Thursday, 26 February 2009

Robin Williams vs Bono

Are they the same person? Why do they have the same head?

Bobby Yip

Seriously, someone needs to find me a download of this song. I want Bobby Yip playing this at my wedding, to...

Who kind of reminds me of...

But in a good way.

Sorry, i just couldn't resist posting this picture for the effect it will have on most people...

Anyone else into that hollyoaks girl?

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

MJ goods for sale

I just found out about this auction featuring a load of MJ's belongings. Link...

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

Obama worship

Everyone is bumming Barack Obama. If i was a half breed i would be a little bit offended. He's not black. You half breeds need to stand up and claim ownership of him as your first president. There is actually a website dedicated to Obama art. It's funny how the very artists who were trying to subvert politricks are now contributing to it all, reflecting how the whole world is disappearing up it's own bumhole.

The evil part of me hopes everything goes wrong and Obama turns out to be the anti christ or something, just so i can laugh at you all.

Link to gay Obama art blog

Monday, 23 February 2009

public information

They are watching

They are putting cameras into our electrical goods, so just bare this in mind next time your girlfriend/mother goes out and you decide to put on her underwear, cover your dick in peanut butter, place it in your golden retrievers mouth and stick a wooden spoon up your ass (wood is generally not a good material for ass dildos, because no matter how much you clean it after use, some germs can live within the grains of the wood. It's a similar principle to why glass chopping boards are better than wooden ones).

Talking of wooden spoons. In my university days i had this girl back to mine (asian, just for the mental picture). We were both pretty fucked after a night out so obviously her boundaries were coming down and whilst we were getting down to business she announced that she wanted something in her ass. In this case a finger just wouldn't suffice, she wanted some kind of deeper penetration, so i frantically searched the flat for anything i could use as a dildo. Bottles are no good as they can create a vacuum whilst inserted and then become lodged within the anal canal itself. So i went searching in the kitchen utensil drawer. The first thing that caught my eye was my flatmates wooden spoon, i worked out in my head that if i bummed her with the handle part, the main spoon piece would act as a make shift butt plug, preventing her ass from entirely swallowing the whole thing up (this can happen, google it). O.K it wasn't MY wooden spoon but at this point in time i really didn't give a fuck about ownership.
Anyway after the deed was done i put the wooden spoon in the top drawer of the desk in my room and pretty much forgot about the whole sordid episode. I left that wooden spoon unwashed in my top drawer for the entire year i was in those halls of residence. On many occasion there were up to roughly eight stoned and drunk fellow students/class mates in my room at a time, including the unfortunate young chap who had been wondering where the fuck his wooden spoon had disappeared to. Every time i had a room full of people, maybe one of them sitting on top of the desk with the spoon in it, it would suddenly occur to me that if one of them were to open that drawer and glance upon the shit stained stiring device, my life would basically be over.

A.) I shouldn't have stolen the guys wooden spoon to begin with. That's bad enough. B.) I should never have taken that theft a step further and placed the spoon into anybodies anal cavity. C.) How the fuck would i convince an entire room full of shocked and disgusted people that i had not used the spoon to sodomise myself senseless and it wasn't my shit ingrained onto the handle.
Thank whoever fucking created this earth that nobody opened that top drawer, (just like the top drawer in Alan Partridge's travel lodge hotel room). These are the kind of risks i live with on a day to day basis.

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

i love technology

Look at this girl, she's receiving this text and she wants everyone to think it comes from some secret annex of her life which is far more exciting than the social situation she is currently failing to enjoy herself in. This is a new type of behaviour which has been born out of the mobile phone.
There really is no skill or technique involved in this horrid practise, you just have to silently receive the text, never announce who it's from, but look as if you really need to respond, right now. For extra effect, whilst you reply to the text, you can continue the real life conversation you were involved in as you received the message, but don't listen to the other person and then ask them to repeat themselves once you've hit send.

Rotund females in particular, love this type of behaviour. They're not getting any attention in reality, so by simply receiving a text they want to create the illusion they have a whole fucking abundance of males pestering them day and night for any kind of action they can get there hands on. Because you don't know anything of this army of admirers, they must move in circles far beyond anything you'll ever amount to. Stripped down to it's most basic elements these girls want you to believe they basically have someone of the magnitude of a minor celebrity on the other end of the phone begging them for sex, arranging secret rendezvous in which they will commit sexual acts you didn't even realise were possible. One of Hollyoaks is on the other end of that fucking phone begging to eat the finest Belgian truffles out of the crack of her ass.

Or maybe it's just her mum, asking where she put the hairdryer.

who is your money on?

Fedor Vs Hong Man Choi...

Here's the fight...

Sunday, 15 February 2009

Hidden messages

Michelle Obama throwing up a satanic, illuminati, hornid-one, el diablo affiliated gang sign on the front cover of vogue.

The face has something of the beast about it aswell.

Saturday, 14 February 2009

Afro-caucasian male 44 seeking trans couple for LTR (must be able to accommodate)... the latest book title i am involved in the production of. The book will feature a number of personal adds posted on various internet dating sites and the most interesting, unusual or mundane responses they garner.

The format will be, one page: inserted advert along with picture, the following page(s): responses along with attached pictures (censored to protect identity).

If you would like the opportunity to write an advert for a dating website which may be used in the book in some form, please do so in the comments section below or email me. Please be as creative (yet realistic) as you can.

Many thanks


How to tuck yo nuts

Nut tucking is a technique where the testicles are pushed up into the abdomen to conceal the bulge that your cock and balls would usually create. It is popular with transvestite types and ballet dancers and is also used as a form of contraception as it heats the testicles whilst they are inside the abdomen and reduces fertility.

I personally do not think i could bring myself to push my nuts up into my abdomen for any amount of money, but if you want to give it a go here is a quick guide:

The Tuck

There's only one place for the penis to go, and that's to fold it back between the legs. However, first the testicles must be gently pushed into the space they retract to when cold - yes they do pop out again afterwards! If not press gently on the bottom of the abdomen. This is where they sat when you were young, after all.
The space they dropped through is still there. The easiest way to learn to do this is to lie flat on your back with your feet flat on the floor, and find the place to push them into your abdomen. This will generally be straight up, relative to your body.

With this done, you can tuck your penis back comfortably, and all you need is a pair of panties that are tight enough to hold it all in place. But you will need to experiment to see what works best for you.

With a bit of practice, you can do the tuck in less than a second while standing up and pulling your panties on. It really is simple and painless once you figure it out.
Little is known about the safety of repeatedly tucking your balls up inside yourself for prolonged periods, but apparently there is very little chance to do serious harm to yourself. Theoretically it is possible to tangle the seed ducts, which doesn't sound great and will require surgical rectification. Unfortunately we have no reliable information about this problem, so as a rule of thumb if it starts to hurt, pop them back out.

Thursday, 12 February 2009

Extreme boner killers #1

Don't you hate it when you discover a tragic flaw in an otherwise perfectly acceptable human being? Like finding out your best mate has set up a profile on second life, or even worse when you realise a girl you were into is a vegetarian.

Well look at this girl, more than acceptable, not really into the facial piercing but i can let that go... Pretty amaizing body to be honest...

She has the whole androgynous look pretty much down to perfection (who else is into that?)...

Then just when you think she couldn't get much better...

...You find out she has a tattoo which looks like something an autistic kid would scribble on the back of their exercise book. I don't really want to have to jizz on a disabled child's drawing to be honest.

If i repeatedly performed the unholy act, it may eventually condition my brain to rely on that kind of imagery to achieve any kind of arousal.

That glimpse of tit shows she could have had so much potential.

Could you maintain the full adult male erectile state in the face of such turmoil?

whats a square dance?

Sunday, 8 February 2009

Valentine's day cards

Here are some new valentine's day cards available from the bonanza shop for £4.99 in sets of 10 (5 of each in various colourways). There was going to be a third design which said, ''sorry for giving you aids'' but i couldn't be bothered to make it.

Card 1

Internal Message

Card 2

Internal message

If I've spelt anything wrong please let me know, thanks

Friday, 6 February 2009

Listen and look

Listen to the music, look at the pictures...