Tuesday, 30 December 2008

bloodlines of power

This is the best video.............EVER. There is 31 parts to this, here is the first if you like it just watch the rest on youtube. I'm not posting them all here because i can't be bothered. It has fuck all to do with southpark.

Sunday, 28 December 2008

American Food #3- Death pizza from jupiter

I'm not really into health food, but this is just taking the piss. That just looks like some kind of pie made from the shit they pull out of a dead heart attack victim's arteries. No bread, just fucking more cheese and peperoni all the way through. Eating that is like sucking a Turkish business man's willy in a train station toilet and saying, ''i know i'll get aids, but it just tastes so good''. They might as well brand it as ''suicide pie'', make the box black and put a skull on it. Then at least it would be kind of cool like those death cigarettes you can get. I use to buy them from the tobacconists (the only place you could get them) when i was 14. I pretty much ruled.

Actually, i only bought them once. Or maybe i sent some fat kid in to get them because i couldn't get served. But i defiantley owned a pack. Fat kids always looked older.


That is one sweaty fucker. I don't think i've ever swat that much in my life. This website is full of nothing but sweaty celebrity pictures. I can't be bothered to read it, so i don't know if they get boners over the sweat or weather they are disgusted by it, all i know is i just looked at five pages of sweaty folk. Why do 'celebs' sweat so much, are they a different species? They have some random celebs like carol vorderman and headlines like ''beverly knight sweats out the funk.''

David Icke

This is a great David Icke video. I love David Icke. Even if it's complete nonsense it's more compelling than any film coming out right now. It's two and a half hours long by the way.

Here's a link to watch it on google.


submissive TS maid seeks middle-aged couple - t4mw - 42 (London)

I'm looking for a middle-aged couple, perhaps with a large house, where the lady is strict and dominant, who perhaps would like to have a TS maid work and serve them in their house on a regular or full time basis. I have experience but have been out of service for a while, and would love to be reintroduced to a proper house routine of morning duties, breakfast duties, household chores and domestic work, afternoon work in the house, personal secretarial duties, dinner preparation and evening duties.

This would suit a couple who needs someone like me to make their life much easier, to keep their house immaculate, run their household smoothly, keep them life organized and ensure everything is in the right place at the right time. This would be a couple who understands the value and importance of good service, and who require exceptionally high standards, thorough domestic cleaning, dusting, polishing, laundry, ironing, cooking, care of clothing, shoes, secretarial work, scrubbing floors, running errands, assisting with shopping, serving, fetching, carrying and whatever else I'm told to do.

I'm 42, plus-sized, transitioning, naturally feminine, currently not working and would be happy to make a serious commitment to catering for all the needs of a couple who would become my Master and Mistress. I'm happy to live out but would prefer a position which eventually becomes live in where I would be under the total control of my Mistress and be properly trained to serve her and her husband to their utmost satisfaction. This would be a formal, uniformed position where I would spend my waking hours in formal maid's uniform, perhaps a corset, hard at work doing all the chores, the cleaning, washing, ironing, cooking, etc whilst simultaneously being trained to be hardworking, efficient, feminine, meek and obedient. I'm specifically seeking a couple where the Mistress is extremely strict and demanding and who has no qualms whatsoever about using the cane as effective punishment to correct shortcomings in work, service, attitudes and behaviour. Serious enquiries only please.

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

bonanza guide to christmas presents

Here are some gift ideas for you...

'rock out' toys for all the family

an 'ironic jacket' available at ebay

A unique Japanese toy which isn't available in your country (that's what the internet's for).

A t-shirt for a special girl in your life, with a vague reference to a sexual act you once performed on her. The trouble is you can't work out weather A.) she will get it, or B.) it's crossing the line. True story.

A must have gadget

A kachina doll. The new kokeshi 3 years ahead of it's release in john lewis.

A cd full of celeb nudez. Bonus points for making them yourself.

Retro films, posters or merchandise

A very limited edition action figure

A cosplay outfit

Some 'street-art' with SUBTLE sexual/political undertones.

Or this

this must be old...

Guys i'd swing for #1

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Proof that the lizard people are among us...

Reptilian shapeshifter news reporters, whose cloaking devices are failing them live on air.

I always wanted a pet lizard which i would call 'blizzard the lizard', but then i saw one shitting once and thought, there is no way i could handle that on a daily basis.


My favourite headline recently. If you don't know just google coogee bay hotel poo. Basically this family complained at a restaurant so the staff shat in some ice cream and gave it to them for free. Everyone knows you don't eat anything after you've complained.
The picture says it all really. Some great sub headings:

Faeces family wanted 'shut-up money', says pub
''Feaces family'', that's genius, and my favourite:

Mother traumatised after eating the substance -

She now struggles to wipe her child's bottom

That's fucking poetic


one of my customers gave me this top as a Christmas present. How do i get myself into these awkward situations? I'm a male in his mid twenties with just your average reasonable taste in clothes and i had to pretend to be enthusiastic about receiving this item in front of several people. It's made of some fucked up velour material which seems to get under my fingernails whenever i touch it, which strangely seems to activate my gag reflex. To make things worse it has a price tag on it of $96 so now i feel really ungrateful.

There is no way on earth i can wear a double XL velour top with 'take life' written on the back. Anybody want it?

Monday, 15 December 2008

Corpus clock

Some people getting a bit worked up about it...



Sunday, 14 December 2008

Michael Jackson...

...out shopping for antiques the other day.

Mcdonalds pizza

Who remembers McDonald's pizza? I think it was in the early 90's some time but it was just about the best thing they ever sold. I don't give a fuck if you're anti MacDonald's like that Morgan Spurlock dickhead. Going around making the most fucking ridiculously patronising documentaries known to man. If you eat only Mcdonald's for a month you will put on weight. Did you really need to make a documentary to tell us that you fat, moustache faced, vegetarian girlfriended cunt. His latest documentary is even more insulting. He travels the world offending muslims asking them where Osama Bin Laden is and somewhere along the way he comes to the pathetic conclusion that , ''they're all human, just like us''. We really needed you to tell us that ginge.

bad photography

Anyone can be a photographer, it's fucking easy, look...

This one of the most complicated websites i've ever seen:


Friday, 12 December 2008