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Tuesday, 17 February 2009

i love technology


Look at this girl, she's receiving this text and she wants everyone to think it comes from some secret annex of her life which is far more exciting than the social situation she is currently failing to enjoy herself in. This is a new type of behaviour which has been born out of the mobile phone.
There really is no skill or technique involved in this horrid practise, you just have to silently receive the text, never announce who it's from, but look as if you really need to respond, right now. For extra effect, whilst you reply to the text, you can continue the real life conversation you were involved in as you received the message, but don't listen to the other person and then ask them to repeat themselves once you've hit send.

Rotund females in particular, love this type of behaviour. They're not getting any attention in reality, so by simply receiving a text they want to create the illusion they have a whole fucking abundance of males pestering them day and night for any kind of action they can get there hands on. Because you don't know anything of this army of admirers, they must move in circles far beyond anything you'll ever amount to. Stripped down to it's most basic elements these girls want you to believe they basically have someone of the magnitude of a minor celebrity on the other end of the phone begging them for sex, arranging secret rendezvous in which they will commit sexual acts you didn't even realise were possible. One of Hollyoaks is on the other end of that fucking phone begging to eat the finest Belgian truffles out of the crack of her ass.

Or maybe it's just her mum, asking where she put the hairdryer.

3 comments:

Martorialist said...

This is, is the rather played-out phrase goes, real talk.

I recently read a statistic which said that over 70% of people who use mobile phones in public aren't actually talking to anyone but just desperately trying to appear more popular. It seems plausible.

Trigger-happy fat female texters are more likely to use them to cheat during pub quizzes too, i reckon.

videotime said...

Unlike Martor I choose to use the cliched term "on point", for this Conroy.

I barely use my mobile, so I think I recognize this sort of shit more than other people.
And I despise it when they it does happen any way near me.

Actually I can completely visualize the choppy haircut, heat reading, perpetually dieting 25 year old girl doing this in a Topshop staff room.

With leggings on.

louise said...

Yeah thats me minus 6 years. And I do it in Urban outfitters, and read OK instead to appear more "authentic"