God

Even though i find religion pretty ridiculous, i still have this weird underlying deep routed irrational fear of God. Out of all the fucked up shit i've done in my life, i still consider the time i stole a collection box from a church when i was 12 to be the worst thing. Anytime something bad happens in my life i convince myself i'm being punished for stealing from that church. It was a green rectangular box about 8 inches in length filled with small change for children in Africa with AIDS or something. I snuck in with my friend one afternoon and we stole it to buy cigarettes. I think we got about £2 or something out of it. It's probably one of my main regrets in life, not only did i steal from a charity but i stole from God's front room.
So that's the power of religion, i like to say i don't believe in God but i'm shit scared of him. I always like to imagine what God must look like in different peoples heads. I always pictured him as having darker, longer hair than the image above. Kind of like an older Jesus. But i always just imagine his head for some reason, never a body. I would love to see other peoples visions of how God should look.

These creationists really aren't doing a very good job of convincing us...



Anyway God, i really just wanted to take this opportunity to genuinely say sorry for stealing that money. I don't know what you are, but i like to believe the theories that suggest you're an alien who dropped us all off here ages ago.