Thursday, 23 October 2008


Dwarfism is the joke i never really got. Maybe i did once, but it's been used up so much i can't actually remember a time i ever found the little cunts funny. Why is it universally accepted that it's OK to laugh at dwarfs? ''They don't care they're only dwarfs.'' If you want to add to the humour of something just throw a fucking dwarf in. People love it. They can't get enough of small people doing silly stuff. Every time i see a comedy midget i'm just thinking 'fucking dwarfs again, who finds this shit funny?'

If you're a dwarf and you want to be in showbiz or become an actor, you really don't need to have any kind of skill or ability. Just be small and turn up on time. That will pretty much do.

I have no problem with dwarfs, i don't give a fuck about them either way to be honest. I just don't like it when my intelligence is insulted by somebody thrusting a midget in my face and expecting me to roll on the floor with laughter, just because he's smaller than normal. If you are a genuinely funny guy and you just happen to be a dwarf then that' fine with me.

But maybe i do have a slight problem with dwarfs...

...first of all, let me just say i find it slightly disturbing when a fully grown human has a dwarfs head. Take Ice-T for example:

Now that problem's out of the way, going back to my early childhood, we can explore the roots of this issue.

In the UK, we use to have this program called 'The Krankies'. It basically revolved around some odd father/uncle/parental guardian figure- 'Ian' and his mischievous little schoolboy son- Jimmy krankie, getting into various scrapes together. That all sounds innocent enough, i had no problem with the show and i use to quite enjoy it. But then one day whilst i was at home watching it on TV, probably eating some spaghetti hoops on toast, my mum went and dropped the bomb on me.....

'Conroy dear, you know little Jimmy krankie there. The mischievous little schoolboy son of Ian?Well that isn't his son, it's actually his........ ...........WIFE''

That was his wife! A little fucking woman, all done up as a schoolboy. Running about in shorts with a disturbing squeaky little Scottish accent. That shit is not safe for kids. I was seriously disturbed.

So maybe i just don't want to laugh at dwarfs incase i get bitten again.

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