Saturday, 23 August 2008

Surely someone must have a rich Dad.

Who wants to go halves with me on this? This beast has been on eBay for at least a fucking year, just teasing me, tempting me to sell everything i own and buy it. I know it looks ridiculous, but i don't give a fuck, you have to get past that and use your imagination. If you have one. What i want to do is get this thing, travel around Europe picking up naive art student girls looking for money to buy paint and stuff. Invite them into the van and have an all out party, take some artistic nudes and maybe produce a DVD compilation of them dancing in their underwear to death metal and hip hop. Maybe if i tell them it is going to appear in some cool art magazine or get them 'crunk' they might even do it for free? I don't mean to sound like some kind of Pied Piper/Satan character, i actually want to do this for art, photography and film making purposes, i swear on your mums life. I would have to totally gut the van out, make some more room inside, maybe get a pole fitted, a disco ball obviously. I would also possibly paint it black and get a chrome skull fitted on the front. It would need a name, here are my choices so far.

The Thing.

Nightbreed. (as in the Clive Barker film)


I would greet any other suggestions you may have with open arms. Thanks.

In all honesty i would actually like to do this as a serious art project, photographing the landscape and also the van amongst various different scenery. Imagine that thing driving through the ghettos of Russia. Then i would release a book of the entire project or maybe just a website cataloguing the journey and the mixture of crazy parties and artistic photography of semi naked indie-rock chicks who had accompanied us in the back of our funbus.

If you don't want to do this with me, then you are an idiot.


carlos said...

I want in! This is pretty much what a young mans dreams are made of. Anyone who denys this has got to be the most joyless cunt on the face of the earth.

There is one thing we have to discuss first. That van! It looks like something that was used to do tours in skegness. That thing is too ugly, i don't know if i could get in it. Change the van, then maybe we can talk.

Conroy Van Winkle said...

'That thing is too ugly'

That's kind of the point! It has to be ugly, or it wont work. You know when some idiot pulls up behind you in his mum's corsa with bass on blast that shakes your very soul? I want to be that cunt for once but multiplied by ten. That is what this van is, the ultimate cunt on wheels. Painted black with blacked out windows with maybe even fairground style airbrush art on the sides.
This is the cuntmobile.